


Destined to Explode

by nanodayoooooo



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Life Lessons, M/M, Mild Smut, Past Relationship(s), Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 11:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10695636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanodayoooooo/pseuds/nanodayoooooo
Summary: "You ordered 4 pizzas right, so that would be 42 dollars""I'm sorry? What did you say?""Your pizza delivery will be made within the next 15 mins.""Like hell it is. I'm not paying 42 bucks for something I did not order.""Right, you're definitely Makoto. Was just looking to prank call him and freak him out a little.""That'll definitely scare him. But unfortunately, you got the wrong person on the phone.""Who are you anyway?""None of your business.""I'll find out who you are in the end anyway. Watch me.""Well, aren't you a confident little shit", there was a tinge of annoyance along with a hint of amusement in his voice, but that was how it all began.





	Destined to Explode

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Something We'll Always Have](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5431319) by [starlitcities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlitcities/pseuds/starlitcities). 



"Never took you for a whiskey kind of guy."

Kisumi glanced up to the owner of the voice and smiled softly. He returned his gaze to the cup with the liquid in front of him. He grabbed it by the rim and swirled the contents around. The silence hanging in the air was thick, but at the same time, it was kinda of comforting. He was thankful that his company found it unnecessary to keep a conversation going, if there was no point to it. 

He turned to his right. The thick layer of smoke was just clearing the air, making Sousuke's face slowly appear. Kisumi darted his eyes on Sousuke's face, taking in all the small details. How Sousuke scrunches his nose after he blows out the smoke, how there is a perpetual frown etched on his face, how he clumps his lips together when he is upset and how he bites his lower lip when he is thinking hard about something. 

"You'd understand once you try it. Especially with a drag of the cig", Kisumi shrugged and took another swig of his whiskey. "I usually crave it after sex anyway, for your information in the future", Kisumi looked at Sousuke from the corner of his eye, smile lopsided. 

"Alright, I'll bite. I'll bring a bottle of whiskey next time", a small smirk was seen at the corner of his mouth. Kisumi knew that he was just humouring him, but that was the nature of their relationship. It was easy and it was not difficult to maintain it like that. 

"Just no Jack Daniel's", Kisumi muttered. 

Sousuke quirked his eyebrow to the comment. "I'd rather not relive that memory", Kisumi continued, refusing to make any eye contact. He knew that Sousuke could tell that he was uncomfortable and he was not the kind to push information out of him. Instead Sousuke placed his hands on either side of Kisumi's hips and brought him on his laps. Straddling Sousuke with his hand tugging gently on the hair above his neck, Kisumi felt the gentle push bringing his head downwards closer to Sousuke's face. 

The kiss was soft, yet full of passion. Kisumi could feel the electricity and heat coursing through his body. He felt Sousuke's tongue swipe across his lower lips, gently begging for entrance and like a dance that both of them were familiar with, Kisumi opened his mouth almost on instinct. He felt the tongue licking his way into his mouth, exploring it. Slowly finding all the nooks and the crooks, like Sousuke did not already know all the corners in Kisumi's mouth. Kisumi could taste the hint of nicotine in Sousuke's mouth, triggering an old memory from the back of his mind. Sousuke's hands wandered up his spine, tracing invisible patterns on his back. 

Slowly, Sousuke pulled back. Kisumi opened his eyes, looking straight at the blue orbs staring at him. He felt a thumb on lips, tracing the outline of his lips, so delicately and so full of emotions. He knew Sousuke would not push him to tell him anything but Kisumi felt like an ass for doing that to him. He decided that Sousuke deserved to know everything, seeing how he had been patient with him. 

He met Sousuke at a bar, while he was drowning his sorrows with never-ending alcohol. At least that was what it felt like to him during that night. He drunk and smoked until his tongue was numb and he could not differentiate between the taste of vodka or nicotine. He drunk until he could not see straight but he did not care. He just wanted to go so wasted that he could not feel anything. He had brought a gruff-looking stranger home. There was no conversations involved. He had dragged Sousuke into his room, tugging his shirt off him in record time. All restraint flew out of the window that night, and he had never felt so liberated in a long time. 

In the morning, he had expected to wake up to an empty bed beside him. To his surprise, he woke up to someone running his hand through his hair and the other arm wrapped around his hip. It had been a while since he was wrapped in the warmth that he forgot how good it felt. Post-coital treatment was never in his agenda, he never had the chance to experience it, but maybe, just maybe, this time around someone was willing to indulge him. 

One night, turned into two and then three, and soon, it became an everyday occurrence to have someone waking up behind him. His face tugged from behind, on Kisumi's shoulder, blowing small little breaths, still deep in slumber. 

"I'll tell you about him, Sousuke. You deserve that much for putting up with me", Kisumi's small voice broke the silence. Sousuke went rigid under him for a brief moment, but he composed himself fast enough, resuming the drawing of invisible patterns on Kisumi's back. He hummed in acknowledgement. But he did not push. 

"You're so beautiful", it was so soft that Kisumi almost did not catch him saying that. Kisumi blinked a few times, blush painting his cheeks. He smiled shyly at Sousuke. He thought opening was hard, but for this great guy, he would do it willingly, no matter how hard it was. Because he knew, Sousuke would listen to him, no matter how long it took. He knew that Sousuke would still be there to pick him up if he broke down. 

 

* * *

 

 

If someone asked him, Kisumi would never admit that his first love was from when he was 15. He knew that normally, people fell for someone earlier than that age. It was embarrassing for him, so more often than not, he stayed off that topic. It was not like he was not surrounded by good-looking guys. He knew full well that his friends were at least a 9 on a scale of 1 to 10. It just did not appeal to him. 

When he did fall for someone, however, it was like everything fell into place. He did not question it. He felt everything. The rush of air into his lungs, the shiver down his spine, the speechlessness and definitely, the awe he felt inside himself. 

The boy was perfect, albeit being a little grumpy. Impeccable dress sense, intimidating aura, killer blue eyes and a ripped body, he was a full package. He walked into class, eyes straight forward, not bothering to acknowledge anyone around him. But like a magnet, everyone stuck around him. It was rare to see any emotion on him, but when he opened his mouth to introduce himself, the whole class swooned.

"I'm Nanase Haruka."

What a beautiful name, Kisumi thought to himself. _Just like the owner_. He entered Kisumi's life like a typhoon, wrecking everything in sight, including Kisumi and he did not mind it a single bit. In fact, he relished in the impact. Kisumi decided at the moment that for this boy, he would go through anything. 

For the first few days, Kisumi just watched the mysterious boy sit at his desk, looking out of the window. The sun flare entering through, reflected his sideview perfectly. It was like he was ethereal. For days, Kisumi continued his days like that. He hung out with his friends, just like normal but he never surpassed the chance of sneaking a glance towards the auburn-haired boy. He could not muster enough courage to approach the boy.

One day, Kisumi had an idea to give Makoto a little scare. It was a weekly occurrence to do this with his group of friends. He could not help it, it was just too easy to get a reaction out of Makoto. He was also too nice to scold his friends about it, so it made him the perfect target. He went to a payphone and dialed his friend's number that he memorised by heart. 

"You ordered 4 pizzas right, so that would be 42 dollars"

"I'm sorry? What did you say?"

"Your pizza delivery will be made within the next 15 mins."

"Like hell it is. I'm not paying 42 bucks for something I did not order."

"Right, you're definitely Makoto. Was just looking to prank call him and freak him out a little."

"That'll definitely scare him. But unfortunately, you got the wrong person on the phone."

"Who are you anyway?"

"None of your business."

"I'll find out who you are in the end anyway. Watch me."

"Well, aren't you a confident little shit", there was a tinge of annoyance along with a hint of amusement in his voice.

After the guy hung up, Kisumi just stayed rooted to the ground. He recognised the voice. He would recognise the voice anytime he heard it.  _"I'm Nanase Haruka."_ His jaw dropped in shock. He could not believe it. He finally had the chance to speak to him. It would have been better under different circumstances, but it did not erase the fact that he had talked to Haru. Happiness. That was all he could feel at the moment. It felt like nothing else could bring him down. 

At school the next day, he plucked up all his courage and finally approached the boy during lunch. It was not like he had anything to lose. Kisumi schooled his face, trying to keep his nerves in check, shaking the jitters he felt. He forced the bile rising his throat and walked to the desk at back corner in class. 

"Found you", the two words that Kisumi managed to get out. He thanked heavens that he was able to keep his voice calm, despite his raging heart. The boy turned his attention to Kisumi, his eyes scanning him from top to the bottom, as if trying to figure out what this stranger wanted. After a minute, Kisumi started to fidget in his place, questioning his choices because obviously this boy was confused. Thoughts started running through his head and he was fighting off a cringe that was forming on his face. 

"Pizza guy?" Haru broke his train of thought. 

Kisumi slowly opened his eyes, shock evident on his face because he did not expect Haru to remember him but he was relieved. Relieved that he did not have to make the walk of embarrassment back to his seat. Relieved that he did not make a fool out of himself. Relieved that this guy knows of his existence. Kisumi nodded and smiled. 

From then on, Kisumi joined Haru every day for lunch. They went home together after school. It was like Kisumi was walking on cloud nine. He was in his own bubble of happiness. They did everything together. They went off to music shops, checking out new albums. They got to know more about each other, slowly after spending so much time together. And Kisumi was falling harder and harder for this boy, and he did not mind it a single bit. 

Kisumi's cloud nine came to a screeching halt when one day, Haru asked him, "So, who's Makoto?" 

You would think that after days or weeks of spending time together, Haru would forget the small fiasco. That Haru would just let it go and move on with life. But it seemed like life had different plans. Kisumi felt a bubble of unpleasant emotion bubble within him but he just kept it within himself. 

"I just wanted to know the guy I should be thanking for bringing you to me", Haru simply replied, as if knowing the thoughts running through Kisumi's head. Just like that, it was enough to dispel all negative emotions coursing through Kisumi's veins. It was pathetic how this guy had Kisumi wrapped around his finger, but he could not help it. 

So, Kisumi introduced Haru to Makoto and his group of friends. And instead of the two of them spending time together, it was the four of them.

There was Haru, the tsundere personality who acted like he did not enjoy spending time with people.

Rin, emotionally-unstable but still a joy to be around.

Makoto, resident big friendly giant.

And lastly, Kisumi, the cheekiest little shit.

It was a weird combination, but it was a good group.

They stayed together for years after that. They were unbreakable. The friendship they shared with each other was so strong. They went to the same schools after that and they always stuck together.

The four of them hung out together every minute everyday. With that, Kisumi had lesser alone time with Haru, but they still managed to spend time with each other during weekends. It was a drastic change, but they managed and Kisumi thought that things were going well seeing how he still managed to ask Haru out on dates throughout the years and Kisumi was happy enough with that. He was not asking for much anyway. 

 

* * *

 

 

Haru kissed Kisumi one Friday night, after having a picnic at the nearby park. By picnic, it meant a bunch of unhealthy snacks and a bottle of Jack Daniel's. They bickered and talked about anything and everything. It was relaxing and calm. It was comfortable and after 2 years, under stars, surrounded by grass and where it just the both of them, they finally had their first time together. It was the perfect setting, there was nothing else that Kisumi could have asked for. 

It was perfect when Kisumi gazed into Haru's blue orbs and saw himself. 

It was perfect when Haru traced his finger up Kisumi's jawline, behind his ear, and into his hair. 

It was perfect when they were rutting against each other, breathless and desperately seeking for friction and each other's mouths. 

Although it was messy in the end, Kisumi was so happy when he felt asleep in Haru's arms, with a smile on his face.

If there was anything above cloud nine, that was where Kisumi was on after that. He felt invincible. He felt like he had accomplished everything he wanted in life. 

And the next day at school, he was more cheerful than before. He was all smiles. He was fucking ecstatic and it showed because during their lunch break Makoto finally asked, "Are you guys finally together?" with a teasing tone. 

Kisumi opened his mouth to give an affirmative answer, but Haru beat him to it. 

"Oh. We're not together." 

The three words brought Kisumi's world crashing down. How pathetic. How it only took those three words to crush someone. To crush him. He was stunned to silence, the food he was eating stuck in his throat. There was bile rising in his throat, threatening to exit his body. Tears were stinging his eyes as he tried to keep his composure. 

The silence around him was palpable. From the corner of his eye, he saw Makoto. His green orbs staring right at home, with a tinge of emotion. Pity. Sadness. Makoto knew. Makoto knew how much Kisumi loves Haru. He knew because, there wasn't a day that went by without Kisumi telling Makoto something about Haru. They might not have hung out much in school, but Kisumi called Makoto every night to talk to him and update him on life and of course after last night's happening, Makoto was obviously informed about it.

Kisumi pushed his chair slowly with the back of his knees as he stood up and trudged his way to the bathroom. The trip could not be fast enough. When he got into the toilet, the tears came streaming down at full force. He could not feel anything. The food making its way up his digestive tract came straight out of his mouth. 

Halfway through his puking, he heard the door swing open. He glanced into the mirror and the face he saw in front of him was the last person he wanted to see.

"Listen, Kisumi. I can't be with you." 

It was weird how the heart could still keep beating, after all the pain it is subjected to. It was weird how time moved so fast when you were in so much happiness, yet it moved so slow when you were in despair. Kisumi could physically feel his heart breaking after hearing the comment. He clutched his shirt, near his heart. 

"I can't be with you because I'm in love with Makoto."

He thought that his heart was broken enough, but he was wrong. After the confession, he was distraught. He looked up to Haru, his face showing no emotions. His emotionless facade on display. Kisumi's eyes darted around looking at his face, looking for any hint of lies.  

"Tell me, Haru. After all these years, was there anything at all?" 

"No, nothing." 

"Then yesterday, why? Why did you have sex with me when you didn't feel anything at all?"

"It was just sex. It didn't mean anything." 

"To you. It didn't mean anything to you. But it means everything to me. I had sex with you because I love you, Haru. Did you not realise that?" 

"Sorry, Kisumi. It's not you, it's me", a brief of regret flickered past his face. It disappeared as fast as it came. And with that, he left the bathroom. 

Kisumi did not know what to do because he had never experienced this before. He forgot how to breathe. He forgot how to function. He left the school and did not even bother to return to his classroom. He just walked to the nearest bar, deciding that alcohol is the best remedy he could find. He decided that the best he could do was just to drink away his sorrows. 

And he carried it out for days. Days rolled into weeks and weeks became months and eventually years. There was never a day he did not go to bar. He did one night stands, but it was all  _just sex._ He only did it to satisfy his libido and nothing else. 

It was bordering unhealthy, but it got him through school life and well into work life. After that, he stayed clear of his group of friends. 

After the incident, there was multiple times where Makoto attempted to get into contact with him but he just ignored all of them. Shortly after that, he disposed of his phone and got a new number. 

He knew that it was an asshole move to do that to his friends, but he knew that it was necessary for him to move on. For him to heal from all the wounds. He knew that time heals all wounds. 

There were many instances when guys and girls tried to ask him out on dates, but he turned down all of them. He felt bad, but he knew that it would be worse if he was just physically there but mentally absent. He might be an ass, but he would not do that to anybody. 

 

* * *

 

 

"I'm so broken. I don't know why you stay with me", Kisumi huffed quietly while staring straight ahead. 

"To pick up the pieces of you that he broke", replied Sousuke simply while stroking Kisumi's hair soothingly. 

"You do know that I might not be able to love you, right?"

"Yeah."

"So why?"

"Because I am willing to wait for you."

_Because you're worth it._

**Author's Note:**

> Kisumi is such a sweetheart, he is my absolute favourite. I wanted to make sure that I got all the emotions right, considering he is a minor character. The story was based on personal experience, sigh, but I had a lot of fun writing this. That was a helluva rollercoaster. I got whiplash from all the emotions. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
